poems of the modern gay boy-Honest review.

Hey you, welcome back! Todaaaaaaay I have a very honest and raw review, I’ll try to keep this short and simple. Grab your coffee and on we go bitches.

“poems of the modern gay boy” by Joseph Anthony, is literally that. Poems. They’re raw. Emotional. Some even make one think. But, most importantly, these poems tell a story. And what a fucking story it was! Every poem is accompanied by really nice artwork. To me, that was a great touch, and its original as fuck.

I struggled with it at first and it took me a while to finish it. And by while I mean a few months. Many reasons came to be a part of it. Work, life, friends, work, work, work, work. But today I said “fuck it!” and I’m glad I did…Our book begins with the very first poem being called “epiphany”. The title alone had me thinking. As we read through the pages, we find ourselves back in our childhood years. You know, the days were we knew something was different about us but we didn’t know what.

We read through the heartbreak, the healing, the crying, the anger, the laughter. We basically read through this person’s life. Which at this point I’m starting to think it was the author’s life. Maybe it was his, maybe it was someone else, or maybe a shit ton of people inspired this book.

When I reached a poem called “suicide’s an option” I kinda froze and stopped reading. Put the book down and left it down for a few weeks. And my struggle began. A few poems made no sense. I don’t know if that’s what the author was going for, or if it was just me.

I have to be completely honest here, I’m not one to read a lot of poetry. Maybe that had something to do with me struggling? I don’t know.

There was a poem…”letters”…WOW! And “reminder” just 5 words. And holy shit…I’m glad I decided to finish this book. In 130 pages the author makes you feel about a million things. To be honest, this book made me even more proud of being gay.

Overall I guess I would rate the book 4 out of 5 stars? But please, read it for yourself and form your own opinions about it! Maybe something that didn’t make sense to me, will mean the world to you!

Catch you on the flip side!

-J

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My #HamiltonPR experience!

Hey you, welcome back!

Today I bring you a very special (at least to me) post! I should start out by saying that my love for Hamilton was born thanks to the obsession that one of my friends had with it. She literally spoon fed it to me and I caved and decided to listen to the soundtrack on one of my overnight shifts at my old job. By the end of it, I didn’t know what to do with my life anymore. I was an emotional wreck once “Who lives who dies who tells your story” finished.

Our journey began Thursday January 24th at 4:30pm. I was rummaging through my closet for some pants that actually fit me. I settled for my favorite sweater and navy blue pants with my shinny new pair of black shoes. I decided not to wear my sparkly bow tie as I was gonna be sitting down for a few hours and no light was gonna hit it. We scheduled an uber and we were on our way within minutes. Once we got there security was tight. And I mean tight. There were a sh*t ton of police officers pretty much everywhere. We picked up our tickets and waited in line. The doors opened up and that’s where I completely lost it! They handed us our playbills and I was shaking more than the that last leaf that’s about to fall on fall.

We made our way to the concession stands (I was about to lose my life! This tourists ladies were no joke!) But, I made it to the desk and was able to buy me a A.Ham hat, a t shirt, pins, a Hamilton book (it includes information on the Broadway show and its original cast) and a Hamilton tote bag. Once it was all paid for we managed to grab a quick bite before the show.

Once we go to our seats I took the deepest breath ever and tried to calm my nerves. It was the first time I ever saw a show this big in my entire life!

I cannot even begging to describe what I felt the minute the lights turned off and I heard King George giving his announcement and asking us to turn our phones and electronic devices off, not to mention I was fangirling so hard when the first musical notes to “Alexander Hamilton” started playing!

Our first act, just like the soundtrack, begins with Aaron Burr singing “Alexander Hamilton”, by this point my heart was racing at the speed of light! And when the time for Lin Manuel Miranda to come on stage it’s like time stood still. Everyone gave Lin a standing ovation that lasted a few minutes. My heart, my mind, my whole soul just left me. I was watching everything from the very top and I saw myself clapping so hard! The clapping slowed down and we could hear him beginning to sing.

The show progressed and with every musical number my hear beat increased! When one of my favorites came on, “The Schuyler Sisters”, I couldn’t help myself and I started to sing too! I don’t care if the lady next to me was bothered or not, I couldn’t stop! Then we made it all the way to “Non Stop” and that was a mix of tears and laughter as I tried to sing softly and all I kept thinking of were all the memes my friend sent me about trying to sing all the voices in “Non Stop”.

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Act 1 was done. And I had to take a moment to absorb everything that was happening. I mean, I know the soundtrack by heart, but actually watching it? That’s a whole another level of gaggery!

We tried to make our way to the bathrooms. But it was impossible! So we tried to do the lines to get a bit more Hamilton Merch for a friend of ours but by the time I would make it to the counter third call was already in motion. We left and wiggled our way to our seats again and Act 2 was a few seconds in already. Talk about luck!

“Say No To This” started playing and I swear I almost could cut the tension in the room. Everyone was so quiet. Quieter than before. It was eerie, but so spectacular! I felt my heart begin to race as Mariah Reynolds began singing again. My mind blew up when they kissed. I swear. As I write this now, I feel my eyes tearing up because it was such a great experience!

One of my other favorite numbers was coming up and I was trying to be strong because “Burn” is my second all time favorite song (“Non Stop” being the first) and as soon as Eliza began to sing, Jonathan (me) yet again began to cry. I couldn’t even see the stage because I was crying.

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I managed to contain my emotions because two other sad numbers were happening later and I had to be strong. “Stay Alive (Reprise)” finished and I had no heart left.

Now, this is were everything (at least for me) crumbled down. “Who lives who dies who tells your story” was playing, keep in mind this is the closing number for Act 2. The minute it started playing I, for like the millionth time that night, began to cry and sob. I was freaking sobbing. I felt like if I had lost a family member whom which I was close to. I could not even breath right. My heart rate was out of control and for a second I thought I would have a heart attack.

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The show ended, we’re all clapping but in my mind I kept replaying that last number. And on our way home I was trying to process everything I had seen that night.

Don’t know if you noticed but I’ve been talking about “we” and “us”…This is why my evening was so special. My boyfriend. My boyfriend, came with me to watch the show and that made the experience even better. I got to share this night with the person I love the most.

 

Thanks for reading! Stay pretty! Stay shinning! Stay bright!

Catch you on the flip side!

-J

Update in life-December!

Hey you! Welcome back! So how are you? It’s been a while, I know. I haven’t been as active as I hoped. BUT! I’ll tell you why!

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As you know I work at a hotel in the heart of Old San Juan, and these past few months business has been blooming beautifully. And with this, so has the work load. I’m in the stage where you get out, get stuck in traffic, get home and go straight to bed. Keep a secret, though? I love every minute of it! I’m never bored.

That’s not even the reason why I’ve been so busy! I GOT PROMOTED Y’ALL! That’s right! Your boy got promoted to Front Desk Agent, now THAT is the reason why I barely have time for me! With all the training, extra hours, long traffic jams, etc.

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I barely have time for me or friends. But again, I wouldn’t change it for nothing. Things are good. We (me and my bf) finally got out of that dark place we were at and now we can finally say things are getting much, much, M U C H better. And so has our relationship. I’ve made several new friends, I’ve met so many new people who come and go! I’ve also gotten business propositions! It’s like if they finally fixed that light bulb that was out, you know the one that’s supposed to be shinning so bright people look at you? Well apparently mine was faulty cause things were shitty AF! But hey, December was good to us. I’ll go as far as to say I made December my bitch. I worked over 100 hours (to me thats great). Yes my reading has gone down a bit, but by the gods I’ve gotten so many new books!

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I’m also part of WhatsApp chat group called BookBloggersPuertoRico or BBPR for short. The people in this chat group have been so supportive with me, they have listened to my endless rants, have lifted my mood when things haven’t been good, they have even celebrated my triumphs with me. They were a huge part of my year. Specially Wilmarie, who you all know is a really good friend of mine. You can also catch her blog here! She has a lot, and I mean A LOT of good content. She pours her heart out with each post. Check her out!

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There is another WhatsApp chat group I’m part of, TheOhana. I’m telling you, they have been like family. Advice is never missed, words of encouragement? Always present. And yes, there’s drama. Oh delicious drama. But at the end of the day it all ends in shits and giggles. One of the members I already featured here a while back. But you can refresh your memory by clicking…right…over…here. He’s been more than a friend and I’m glad I get to call him “sis”. We have had many ups and downs. And life knows we argue more than real brothers, but we’re always there for each other.

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In conclusion…ugh that sounded like an essay line lol! To sum it all up cause I’ve deff kept you long enough, that’s assuming you made it down here, 2018 started off ok, then it all went to shit for a really long time. Until Oct/Nov/Dec came around. These months (specially December) deff made the hard parts of the year worth it. Don’t ever give up, stay fighting. Stay shinning. Stay bright! And let’s see what 2019 brings for all of us!

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Catch you on the flipside!

-J

“Throw” by Ruben Degollado-Honest review.

Hey you! Welcome back! This week I have a review for a book that’s entirely different to what I’m used to reading. It’s a debut novel written by Ruben Degollado! Latinos for the win!

wait-gif-7.gif* Disclaimer, I’m writing this review based on an ARC I received, this isn’t based on the finished product, the content and cover of the book are subject to change at any given moment.*

Well, síganme los buenos!

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DsdCCcCXgAok5XE.jpg-large“Llorona was no harmless little pigeon. She was the lechuza, the owl you see just before someone is about to die, the one that haunts you in your dreams and you never want to see in real life because it means you are about to lose someone you love.”

Llorona is the only girl Güero has ever loved. A wounded soul, she has adopted the name of a ghost from Mexican folklore. True to her namesake, Llorona cast Güero away with the coldness of the apparition she has become. But Güero—though he would never admit it to his friends—still wants to get back together with her.

Güero spends time with his friends Ángel and Smiley—members of the HCP (Hispanics Causing Panic) gang—roaming the streets of the South Texas border towns they inhabit, trying to forget Llorona even as she seems to appear around every corner.

Over three days Güero’s increasingly violent confrontations with Llorona’s current boyfriend will jeopardize the lives of Ángel and Smiley and the love he hopes to regain.

As events begin to accelerate toward their conclusion—and gang signs are thrown as both threats and claims of identity—the question arises: will Güero throw the HCP sign, or will he throw off that life? Güero’s life will be irrevocably changed by violence and loss, but who will he lose, and will he—somewhere along the way—lose himself?”

Ok, hmm. I won’t lie, sorry Ruben! This was not my cup of tea. I’ll explain myself, via cons and pros of the novel.

Pros

  • Family values
  • Strong friendships
  • Intense loving
  • Mexican folklore
  • Spanish (or Spanglish)

Cons

  • Some scenes felt forced
  • Other scenes feel awkward
  • Mental health shaming (this one hit me on a personal note)
  • Main character wasn’t clear to me…?

The novel is narrated by Cirilo and it tells the situations that happened during his summer in summerschool. The narrative style of it, for me personally it felt a bit slow to get to the untangling of the events. A bit slow paced. But like I said, that’s just me. At one point I got a bit lost because I forgot that the story took place in Texas, but I kept thinking it was Mexico, because of all the gang talk and street talk. But once I got back on track, I got back into the vibe of it. I had a hard time reading this novel, like I stated before I’m not into gang style books or things like that. I come from a place that deals with this and I couldn’t wait before I got away from that. Both of my brothers lived the “thug” life and it didn’t do anything for them. I had a hard time following the story, the characters did seem a bit boring to me, again sorry Ruben. Smiley to me felt forced. His attitude wasn’t naturally flowing and it felt to me like he was a bit rushed, like maybe he was an after thought to balance Àngel’s personality.

giphyLet’s talk a bit more in depth about the pros. I loved the fact that Cirilo -Güero- respected his dad to an extreme and he tried to do what his “pops” told him religiously. Even though I would’ve liked to see a bit more interaction with the parents, it was refreshing to me that they didn’t take too much of the chapters but were still mentioned. His friendship with Àngel and Smiley is (was?) something so beautiful. His love for Llorona (Karina) was so intense, the way he would describe what being away from her was doing to him and to his emotional state of mind, I felt that. I like the tale of ‘La Llorona” being put in there, I mean I knew about “La Llorona” but never knew the story behind it. It was also nice and refreshing to see spanglish throughout the book it gave it that latino vibe to it you know. I loved the risk Ruben took with this story, showing us a different side of what we’re used to seeing on other books. When we think of Texas we think of cowboys, ranches, beauty pageants, big hair. This however takes place on the streets, the poor side of Texas. I thank the author for that. I’m used to reading a lot of Colleen Hoover books and they mainly take place in Texas and she always shows us the “pretty” side, so again I liked that this takes place on the other side of the coin.

PerfectCalculatingAxisdeer-size_restrictedNow, for the cons. Brace because I may be harsh and I do apologize. Many scenes on the novel, to me, felt out of place. Like they were forced into it to meet a certain word count. Like for example, the description of a few places or how the character had to mention a story of why they visit an establishment. Others just felt awkward, like the one where Àngel is hitting on the preppy school girls at the mall. Or fact that Cirilo didn’t want to be seen as gay because his friends played a small prank on him. There’s a character that throughout the beginning chapters of the story they kept referring to as “Pshyco” or “crazy” just because of a failed suicide attempt. Now, this hit me on a personal level. I’ll keep the reasons to myself. But why shame the character? And its not something that happened on this novel (maybe this could be worked on before printing the final product, I feel a lot of people will feel the same way I did and some won’t be as nice as me about it) I see it happening on a lot of books lately. Like I mentioned on a previous paragraph, the main character wasn’t clear to me, the way the summary is written I felt it was Llorona, when I read it I found it was Cirilo, so that’s a bit confusing. Maybe changing the summary a bit will help other readers? Now, I’ll talk about the spanglish again, though I will admit it could’ve been better and some times translations were a bit unnecessary, it also felt a bit forced sometimes. Like for a long part of the novel pretty much every sentence between the dialogue ended or began with a Spanish word immediately followed by its english translation.

758647In all honesty, I was so hyped about it. I couldn’t wait to get it in the mail and devour it like I normally do with all my books. But I was a bit disappointed by it. I’m not saying I hated it, because like I mentioned before, it has some elements that I completely loved. But it can be worked on (or edited a bit more?) I want this book to do good. I want the author to do so good! We need more latino representation on the book community. This is my personal opinion and this review was based on an unfinished product that could change from here to its release day. I (for like the millionth time) would like to thank the author Ruben Degollado for giving me and my friends Wilmarie and Kevin, the opportunity to read and review his debut novel. Would I read the finished product once it releases, I’d like to say yes. But I’m not entirely sure I’ll be running to the shelves to get it. However, I will be buying it. Because I would like to see if anything changed. If this review was in anyway, mean, rude or bitchy, I apologize as it wasn’t my intention. By no means let this review stop you from getting yourself a copy of this novel. Thanks for reading!

Catch you on the flip side!

-J

5 Books With Hard Topics

Hey you! Welcome back!! WOW its been a while since I last wrote something! On the bright side its been because of good reasons this time! I’ve been busy with work so that’s good! It finally picked up. I’ve been busy with moving from one place to another. And My social life? Its been pretty good too.

So yea! HI!! Ok so this time I bring you something different. At least for me it is. I chose 5 books out of my shelf that deal with pretty hard topics. Be advised some of these are hard af. Not gonna lie. So thread carefully with this post.

FULL DISCLOSURE THE IDEA WAS PRETTY MUCH GIVEN TO ME BY  WILMARIE! Catch her blog here!

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Well on we go!

1-Hopeless-Colleen Hoover-🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

hopeless-nyt-amazon“Sometimes discovering the truth can leave you more hopeless than believing the lies…

That’s what seventeen-year-old Sky realizes after she meets Dean Holder. A guy with a reputation that rivals her own and an uncanny ability to invoke feelings in her she’s never had before. He terrifies her and captivates her all in the span of just one encounter, and something about the way he makes her feel sparks buried memories from a past that she wishes could just stay buried.

Sky struggles to keep him at a distance knowing he’s nothing but trouble, but Holder insists on learning everything about her. After finally caving to his unwavering pursuit, Sky soon finds that Holder isn’t at all who he’s been claiming to be. When the secrets he’s been keeping are finally revealed, every single facet of Sky’s life will change forever.”

Ok ok so no big surprise that I would start out my list with this one. I mean we all know my love towards CoHo,  who sometimes can be a bit of a hard pill to swallow for others, so of course she’d be here. Brace cause she’s on this list two other times. This book was heartbreaking to say the least. The MC goes through hell and back with her emotions. Like every other book, I picked up and started reading and let me tell you I was shook to the core. And I mean SHOOK. Never in a million years would I though I read a book about this topic. Long story short, she had a very traumatic childhood and her mind decided to block that event and she somewhat forgot until she meets the love interest and everything starts to come back little by little. Hard topic? Abuse.

2-The Female Of The Species-Mindy McGinnis-🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

y648“Alex Craft knows how to kill someone. And she doesn’t feel bad about it.

Three years ago, when her older sister, Anna, was murdered and the killer walked free, Alex uncaged the language she knows best—the language of violence. While her own crime goes unpunished, Alex knows she can’t be trusted among other people. Not with Jack, the star athlete who wants to really know her but still feels guilty over the role he played the night Anna’s body was discovered. And not with Peekay, the preacher’s kid with a defiant streak who befriends Alex while they volunteer at an animal shelter. Not anyone.

As their senior year unfolds, Alex’s darker nature breaks out, setting these three teens on a collision course that will change their lives forever.”

Well…I must say, I loved this one from the opening line. This book is extremely graphic for a YA novel. Alex deals with the loss of her sister in her own ways. She mostly keeps to herself and and she has basically no friends. She does have a job at an animal center, I keep thinking that was so we could see a softer side to her though. I would’ve categorized it under Adult because the content is mature AF! Moving on, this one was sad. It has various POVs (“points of views” for those who don’t know what that means) and each one contributes to the story in its own way and yes, they do meet at one point where everything goes to shit. And that’s what I loved about this book. Please, if you decide to read this one be cautious as it deals with sexual abuse, under age drinking, murder and violence. Hard topic? Rape Culture.

3-Too Late-Colleen Hoover under C.Hoover-🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

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“Sloan will go through hell and back for those she loves.
And she does, every single day.
After finding herself stuck in a relationship with the dangerous and morally corrupt Asa Jackson, Sloan will do whatever it takes to get by until she’s able to find a way out.
Nothing will get in her way.
Nothing except Carter.

Sloan is the best thing to ever happen to Asa. And if you ask Asa, he’d say he’s the best thing to ever happen to Sloan. Despite Sloan’s disapproval of Asa’s sinister lifestyle, he does exactly what he needs to do in order to stay a step ahead in his business. He also does exactly what he needs to do in order to stay a step ahead of Sloan.  Nothing will get in his way. Nothing except Carter.”

Where do I begin with this one…A year later (I read this one right after hurricane Maria hit the island so my emotions were every where) and I’m still not sure how I coped with this. Sloan is this girl that has her mind set on getting a better life for her and her brother. But she’s pretty much broke and lives with her boyfriend Asa. Now this guy as a first class Asshole. He rules the college drug underworld, is extremely hot for his own good (he knows this) and he has a very good grade score. Now, this guy treats Sloan like crap. He cheats on her day and night. Forces her to have sex with him (she at one point just goes with the flow to avoid any drama) deals with drug selling in their own apt AND treats her like a maid. Sloan tries to deal with this on her on way but she does know she’s being treated like this. Why does she keep at it you may ask? Her brother who’s in a clinic sick. I’ll stop right here because I just can’t deal with these emotions again. Hard topic? Sexual abuse, drugs, alcohol, infidelity, misogyny and of course domestic abuse.

4-The Thing About Jellyfish-Ali Benjamin-🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

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“After her best friend dies in a drowning accident, Suzy is convinced that the true cause of the tragedy must have been a rare jellyfish sting–things don’t just happen for no reason.

Retreating into a silent world of imagination, she crafts a plan to prove her theory–even if it means traveling the globe, alone. Suzy’s achingly heartfelt journey explores life, death, the astonishing wonder of the universe…and the potential for love and hope right next door.”

This one…This one made me cry. And I don’t mean the “one tear fell down my cheek” I mean the “this book destroyed my heart and then spat on whatever was left” kind of cry. I think the reason why it got to me so much was because both the MC and I lost a friend. She lost hers due to a drowning accident and I lost one due to the Pulse shooting in Orlando. We have Suzy going on this journey to prove that things don’t happen “just cause”. She goes above and beyond to prove that her best friend who was an excellent swimmer didn’t just drown. She even plans to leave her parents and go meet with a brilliant biologist who deals with jellyfish. I will, admit having Suzy in my life helped me deal a lot with the loss of my friend, Jonathan Camuy. It was nice having someone helping me understand that I was grieving in a non healthy way. I couldn’t even smile without crying. But Suzy helped me a lot. Hard topic? Depression and grieve.

5-It Ends With Us-Colleen Hoover-🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

81CWoI7pOSL“Sometimes it is the one who loves you who hurts you the most.

Lily hasn’t always had it easy, but that’s never stopped her from working hard for the life she wants. She’s come a long way from the small town in Maine where she grew up
— she graduated from college, moved to Boston, and started her own business. So when she feels a spark with a gorgeous neurosurgeon named Ryle Kincaid, everything in Lily’s life suddenly seems almost too good to be true.

Ryle is assertive, stubborn, maybe even a little arrogant. He’s also sensitive, brilliant, and has a total soft spot for Lily. And the way he looks in scrubs certainly doesn’t hurt. Lily can’t get him out of her head. But Ryle’s complete aversion to relationships is disturbing. Even as Lily finds herself becoming the exception to his “no dating” rule, she can’t help but wonder what made him that way in the first place.

As questions about her new relationship overwhelm her, so do thoughts of Atlas Corrigan — her first love and a link to the past she left behind. He was her kindred spirit, her protector. When Atlas suddenly reappears, everything Lily has built with Ryle is threatened.”

Hmm…Should I just skip to the hard topic on this one? It’s been two years and I still can’t get over this book. I, again, identified with MC. I went through pretty much what she went through with my exboyfriend. The events in this one hit me so hard I ended up getting the tattoo the MC has. And I will never regret it. Please read this book. It doesn’t matter if you’re a man or a woman, please read it. THIS BOOK MATTERS. THIS BOOK IS IMPORTANT! I’ll just skip to the hard topic because I’m already crying. Hard topic? Domestic abuse.

This concludes my post on……SIKE! I LIED! IT’S ACTUALLY 6 BOOKS!

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6-#FashionVictim-Amina Akhtar-🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

41VBxgoQ12L“Fashion editor Anya St. Clair is on the verge of greatness. Her wardrobe is to die for. Her social media is killer. And her career path is littered with the bodies of anyone who got in her way. She’s worked hard to get where she is, but she doesn’t have everything.

Not like Sarah Taft. Anya’s obsession sits one desk away. Beautiful, stylish, and rich, she was born to be a fashion world icon. From her beach-wave blonde hair to her on-trend nail art, she’s a walking editorial spread. And Anya wants to be her friend. Her best friend. Her only friend.

But when Sarah becomes her top competition for a promotion, Anya’s plan to win her friendship goes into overdrive. In order to beat Sarah…she’ll have to become her. Friendly competition may turn fatal, but as they say in fashion: One day you’re in, and the next day you’re dead.”

HA! THIS ONE BABY THIS ONE! I loved this book A LOT. I raved about it i think pretty much every where on social media. I wrote a review on it, just click here and you’ll be magically taken to that awesome review! I still love Anya and Sarah. Even though that relationship was TOXIC AS FUCK! And yes I said FUCK! The things you do for acceptance and the things you have to deal with afterwards. Every action has it’s own consequences and Anya finds out as she goes. Hard topic? Schizophrenia (or so I think).

Ok, now, for real. That has been my list of  “5” books with hard topics! Thank you so much for reading and I promise to more active!

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Catch you on the flipside!

-J

“If I Was Your Girl”-Honest Review

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“A new kind of big-hearted novel about being seen for who you really are.

Amanda Hardy is the new girl in school. Like anyone else, all she wants is to make friends and fit in. But Amanda is keeping a secret, and she’s determined not to get too close to anyone.

But when she meets sweet, easygoing Grant, Amanda can’t help but start to let him into her life. As they spend more time together, she realizes just how much she is losing by guarding her heart. She finds herself yearning to share with Grant everything about herself, including her past. But Amanda’s terrified that once she tells him the truth, he won’t be able to see past it.

Because the secret that Amanda’s been keeping? It’s that at her old school, she used to be Andrew. Will the truth cost Amanda her new life, and her new love?”

As I write this I can’t help but feel a wave of different emotions. I have tears in my eyes and my heart is racing at the speed of light. I feel as if it were going to beat out of my chest at any given second.

This book was written beautifully.

I loved Amanda. I love how mature she was. I love how she was still having these internal battles and struggles. She’s your regular teenage girl going through life and changes. She has healthy relationship with her mom and is working on her relationship with her dad. I greatly identified with the latter. My relationship with my dad hasn’t been the greatest and to be honest, and not to sound cheesy, thanks to this book and can see that he was trying. Amanda has a great circle of friends, Layla, Chloe & Anna.

There’s romance of course and drama. And oh boy is there drama. The love interest is a bit obvious but is the sweetest thing.

We also see a few scenes with homophobia and transphobia. But we also see a lot of Amanda’s past. We get to meet her angels, people who were there for her. We get to see her mom going through these changes with her. I’m not going to lie, it was heartbreaking seeing her mom go through that. But I think it was necessary. We get to see her acceptance of Amanda.

From this read we can learn a lot. We can open our eyes to a lot of problems all around us that we choose to ignore daily. Meredith Russo hit a homerun with this. And I am more than glad that I took that selfie at the book store and everyone asked me about the book behind me. It seemed to stand out more than me in the pic.

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I decided to go back to the bookstore and buy it. And it was the most amazing decision I could’ve made. If you want to talk about this book you can shoot me a message and we can further discuss it. All I know for sure is that this book means the world to me now and I won’t rest until all my friends have read it. This is the kind of read that you really want everyone to dive into. What I truly loved about this book is how important it is for the trans community. How important it is for the rest of us to see them for what they really are, people. Because at the end of the day that’s who they are, people. And most of us treat them like if they were aliens and that’s something we should be ashamed of. We sometimes forget the basic thing that makes us people. We forget to be kind to one another. Kindness goes a long way in a person’s life. I kept this review short because I myself can’t process all the emotions I’m feeling right now. The way Meredith wrote this book was so delicate, you can see the love she poured in it. I most definitely love the fact that this book celebrates you being the best you!

Meredith, you are precious, and I consider you my angel now.

Trans Pride Flag Waving

I’ll leave you with some of my favorite quotes from this gem!

  • “You know walls are there for a reason though, right? They keep things from falling apart.”
  • “Something had to change. Because I had changed.”
  • “There is no wrong way to express and embody your most authentic self!”
  • “God wanted me to live, and this was the only way I knew how to survive, so this was what God wanted.”
  • “You can have anything once you admit you deserve it.”
  • “Just because you have a past doesn’t mean you can’t have a future.”

Catch you on the flipside!

-J